The Following Were Actually Taken From Classified Ads In Newspapers:
FREE YORKSHIRE TERRIER.
8 YEARS OLD. HATEFUL LITTLE DOG.
FREE PUPPIES:
1/2 COCKER SPANIEL
1/2 SNEAKY NEIGHBOR'S DOG
FREE PUPPIES... PART GERMAN SHEPHERD PART STUPID DOG
FOUND: DIRTY WHITE DOG.
LOOKS LIKE A RAT...
BEEN OUT AWHILE..
BETTER BE REWARD.
1 MAN, 7 WOMAN HOT TUB -- $850/offer
SNOW BLOWER FOR SALE...
ONLY USED ON SNOWY DAYS.
2 WIRE MESH BUTCHERING GLOVES:
1 5-finger, 1 3-finger, PAIR: $15
TICKLE ME ELMO, STILL IN BOX, COMES WITH ITS OWN 1988 MUSTANG, 5L, AUTO, EXCELLENT CONDITION $6800
COWS FOR SALE. NEVER BRED CALVES.
ALSO 1 GAY BULL FOR SALE.
FULL SIZED MATTRESS.
20 YR. WARRANTY.
LIKE NEW. SLIGHT URINE SMELL.
NORDIC TRACK $300
HARDLY USED, CALL CHUBBY
BILL'S SEPTIC CLEANING
"WE HAUL AMERICAN MADE PRODUCTS"
HUMMELS - LARGEST SELECTION EVER
"IF IT'S IN STOCK, WE HAVE IT!"
HARRISBURG POSTAL EMPLOYEES GUN CLUB
GEORGIA PEACHES
CALIFORNIA GROWN - 89 cents lb.
NICE PARACHUTE:
NEVER OPENED - USED ONCE
TIRED OF WORKING FOR ONLY $9.75 PER HOUR? WE OFFER PROFIT SHARING AND FLEXIBLE HOURS. STARTING PAY: $7 - $9 PER HOUR.
EXERCISE EQUIPMENT:
QUEEN SIZE MATTRESS & BOX SPRINGS - $175.
OUR SOFA WILL SEAT THE WHOLE MOB.
100% ITALIAN LEATHER.
JOINING NUDIST COLONY!
SELLING WASHER & DRYER $300.
ALZHEIMER'S CENTER PREPARES
FOR AN AFFAIR TO REMEMBER
OPEN HOUSE
BODY SHAPERS TONING SALON
FREE COFFEE & DONUTS
AND NOW FOR THE BEST OF THE LOT:
FOR SALE BY OWNER
Complete set of Encyclopedia Britannica. 45 volumes. Excellent condition. $1,000.00 negotiable. No longer needed. Recently
married; wife knows everything.
Posted under Uncategorized
This post was written by hummelgirl on December 19, 2009
Thanks Sid ! I was wondering where you had gotten to. These are a riot, especially the one about the parachute.
Those are great. Someone sent me a picture of a septic tank cleaning service’s truck — the license plate was POOPUMPER.
Thanks for the laughs.
These should definitely have been less specific. lol Some good ones there, ’1/2 sneaky neighbor’s dog’, that’s hilarious! lol
funny—-thanks. . . . . . . . sad thing is, some people will not even notice and will repond to ads. . . . .
So funny!!!! Thanks for the chuckles this morning!
Those are so funny!!! Thanks for some great laughs!!!
I like the one about the gay bull lol.
excellent sid !!!
wondered where your jokes had run off to
need more boudreaux !!!
Touche’ you have started my day off good. . . .
You’re on a roll — thanks yuk
Great stuff !!
How bout this one from a small town radio on-air ‘Swapmart’ . A farmer called in to sell 20 ewes of his herd . They put him on the air and he says ” I got 20 EEE-WEES for sale” . True Story .
Nothing like a good daily chuckle. . the Elmo one is my favorite. . . . . here’s one for you.
My local paper:
Found:one small terrier mix. . about 8 pounds. . female. . . golden red with white paws. . one gold eye, one brown. . . .
. . . . . call to identify.
Those reminded me of a classic ad which once appeared in the Village Voice newspaper in Greenwich Village:
“After seven years of careful preparation towards being a concert pianist, I am now prepared to offer my services as a baby sitter”.
I guess he flunked the audition. LOL!
So cute. I advertised for homes for a litter of kittens this way:
My momma was the neighborhood hussy and papa was a rolling stone, we need homes, papa is not paying child support, we cannot locate him. He must be cute, cause I sure am!
LOVE IT. those are great. never see any good ones around these parts.
These were absolutely wonderful. And ever so Senior.
When I was younger, I was driving by a Church in Indiana, and I swear, the sign out front read: “Do You Know What Hell Is? Come Hear Our Organist”.
Are these for real! Quite a collection Thanks for the joy of
humorous laughter, this is a keeper to recycle. By the time I got to the Italian sofa, I thought I was laughed out, that one
brought a roar. The last one was, Oh! Boy, The honeymoon
is over———-Thanxs